Love Deliberately: How to Be Less Sh!t at Relationships
In a world where we are more connected than ever, many people still feel isolated, misunderstood and stuck in the same relationship patterns. Not because they lack the desire for connection, but because no one ever taught them how.
Love Deliberately is an award-winning, practical and honest guide that changes that.
Drawing from kinesiology, personal transformation and real client stories, it reveals why we repeat the same patterns in our relationships and gives you the tools to do something different.
About the author
Relationship Coach, Kinesiologist and Speaker based in Brisbane
Hi, I'm Alfina. Love Deliberately is my first solo book and my most personal work to date. It brings together two decades of professional practice, real client experience and my own lived understanding of how healthy relationships are formed and sustained.
This book is for you if:
You keep repeating the same relationship patterns and are ready to understand why
You crave deeper connection but struggle to create it without losing yourself
You are done waiting for everyone else to change first
You suspect there is a better way to do relationships but no one ever showed you how
You are willing to look honestly at your own patterns and do the real work
You want practical tools, not just theory, to create relationships that actually feel good
What’s inside
A Practical Companion for Every Relationship in Your Life
Whether it is family tension, friendship challenges, workplace conflict or romantic patterns, Love Deliberately gives you a grounded and practical framework to understand what is really going on in your relationships.
Inside, you will learn how to:
Identify and shift unconscious patterns shaping your relationships
Build trust through clear, honest connection
Navigate conflict with more calm and awareness
Create intimacy without losing yourself
Communicate your needs without drama or shutdown
Forgive and release resentment in a healthy way
Set boundaries that protect what matters most to you
This book is a practical guide for anyone ready to create relationships that feel steady, real and deeply nourishing.
What readers are saying
Why Love Deliberately Works
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Same Patterns, Different People
The same unconscious patterns show up across all your relationships — romantic, family, work and friendships. When you learn to see the pattern, everything starts to make sense.
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What's Driving It Isn't What You Think
Most relationship struggles aren't caused by communication issues alone. They're driven by unconscious emotional patterns that sit underneath your reactions, choices and triggers.
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Change the Pattern, Change the Relationship
When you shift the pattern underneath the behaviour, your relationships begin to change naturally. Not through forcing outcomes but through changing how you relate at the source.
Get your copy today
Love Deliberately — $28.60 AUD
International Impact Book Award Winner (2026) and Amazon Best Seller (2025)
Available on Amazon in paperback and digital formats
Frequently asked questions
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Most relationship books help you understand patterns but don't help you shift them.
Love Deliberately combines relationships education with kinesiology-informed tools that work with both your awareness and underlying emotional patterns. Instead of just learning concepts, you are invited to actively apply them in real situations.
The goal isn't more information — it's change you can actually feel and apply.
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The book draws from psychology, somatic awareness and kinesiology-informed practice.
Kinesiology is considered a complementary modality with roots in Traditional Chinese Medicine and body-based approaches such as chiropractic care. The tools are grounded in well-established principles.
You don't need to believe in anything — just try the exercises and notice what shifts.
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Yes. Short, focused chapters mean you can read in small sections and still make progress.
Each chapter includes practical exercises and reflection prompts so you can pause, apply and return whenever you have time. Many readers use it as an ongoing resource rather than a cover-to-cover read.
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Absolutely. This book is about your relationship patterns — with yourself, family, friends and work colleagues, not just romantic partners.
Many readers find it most useful outside of a crisis because it gives them space to understand and shift patterns before they repeat.
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The book is a complete standalone guide and many readers return to it as their awareness grows.
The Love Deliberately course goes deeper with structured practice, kinesiology tools and community support. Start with the book — the course will be there when you're ready.